change

it would be complete irony if i said that the hardest part of sobriety is change, but i think people are accustomed to structure and when things change it puts us in a little tizzy.  i'm a pretty laid back gal, but sometimes unexpected change throws me off.  i get used to the way things are and i begin to like it. 
something that hasn't changed in my husband's recovery is his happiness with no-plans.  he likes to fly by the seat of his pants.  IF there is a plan, he doesn't like to follow it.  even if HE'S the one who made the plan!  i haven't decided if this is just the way he is... or the way he's adapted to life... of just his way of aggravating life (especially for me, because i love plans and schedules)!  he likes to CHANGE things up...
i'm happy that he's changing.  but i hope that especially the drug court program helps him ok his life with plans.  -that was a weird way of saying it, but i'd like one of the changes in life that results from recovery is that he can start living by plans if plans are existent.  it's not that i think we need a plan for every day or a schedule for every second (although i don't think it'd be horrible), it'd just be nice to make a plan for a day and be able to stick to it without a fight.  i don't even really mind veering from plans every once in a while because we can't predict the future and we can't control all of life's circumstances... but i would like to have a planned out day go as scheduled.  especially for our family.  every once in a while.
i'm not trying to pick on him.  i know he's not perfect.  i'm just letting out a little "change vent"... 
i love my husband.  i think he's great. 

suicide

there's been an epidemic (well, that might be an exaggerated term) of suicides around here.  there's been about four that we are aware of and "close" to.  not that any of our close friends have killed themselves, but people that we know about or know through someone.  that's a lot and they've all been addicts. 
that definitely puts a little higher stress on recovery, but it also puts an awareness of the seriousness of what we're dealing with in the forefront of my mind. 
my mr. is sober.  i'm happy about that.