on my mr's days off he used to hang out with us (the family) for about half a day and then randomly have a real urgency to go do something: run an errand*, fix something of someones, meet up with someone, check out a blank (fill in the blank with ANYTHING), help someone with something....
he, then, wouldn't come home for hours. and when i say hours, i really mean hours: 10-12-14 sometimes.
my mr has always been "good" at keeping busy doing things. however, weirdly enough it never seemed that anything ever got done. for instance he'd clean his garage all day long and when i'd go out to visit with him after i'd put the kids to bed it'd still look like a hurricane had hit it. also another for instance is that with a family as large as ours, there is always a daddy-do (otherwise known as a honey-do) list a mile long. he'd always be working on stuff but the list would NEVER shorten!!!
my mr used to stay up until the wee hours of the morning tinkering in his garage. when his addiction got really bad (after months of unemployment) he'd get mad when i'd come out to visit him in the garage at night. at the time i just never really understood it. he'd chat with me for a short time while he was tinkering and then, out of no where, just say, "i'll be in in a little bit." which was my cue to go inside. i'd talk with him about it and he'd say that he just felt like i was pestering him to come inside. after explaining that i didn't care if he was in the garage, i was just trying to spend some time with him, he allowed me out there for longer periods but the truth was that i actually needed some sleep where he didn't (literally, because of the drugs -i found out later). he'd ask me to come out and tell him when it was 11... then 12... then "i'll be in in a few minutes, honey. i'm just cleaning up." and he'd come in at 3 or 4.
both me and my man are sleepers. we're the type that can go to sleep around 9 and (if the kids would allow) get up at 9 the next morning. when he's off of drugs, he's like that with me. we even like naps during the day. when he's on drugs it's a different schedule. he'll stay up, like i said, until 3 or 4 and then jump out of bed with the alarm at 6:45 or 7. it would make sense that after weeks of this, then he would spend [almost] a whole 'nother week sleeping!
my mr. would sit and stare at this computer for ABSOLUTELY no reason for hours. it's not like he was looking at pictures, or reading interesting articles, learning how to fix this or that, or playing those cyber-games. he was not catching up with facebook or blogging... he'd just open up craigslist and browse through ads. for HOURS!
i used to just be used to being stood up. not on occasion, but as the usual. he's say he'd be home at a certain time, but not come home for several (up to 8) hours. we'd set up dates that never happened. he'd plan lots of excursions with me and the kids... ending in disappointment 95% of the time. he got to were he just wouldn't plan ("afraid that it wouldn't go through and we'd all be disappointed in him" -his words). i just started thinking he was afraid of commitment... not so much the case.
he'd agree to plans with our friends and then decide we'd rather not, or he'd get one of those random urges to go run a quick errand*. and then never come back. i became the queen of excuses to our friends.
he was one of those people that always was in the middle of something when you'd call. and he'd "call you right back". never to hear from him again. that was IF he'd answer the phone in the first place.
he had the worst luck! (or worst excuses?) he'd break down, lock the keys in the car, run out of gas, run into someone that needed help/was stranded... being a mechanic, it sucked to be his wife. he'll go out of his way to help others (and this IS TRUE), so i still don't know which excuses were real and which were made up.
he'd lie. whether he needed to or not. he'd lie. to anyone, anywhere, about anything. lies!
...there's some insight into how life used to be. life with a drug addict. how could i have not known, right?! ...yeah...
he, then, wouldn't come home for hours. and when i say hours, i really mean hours: 10-12-14 sometimes.
my mr has always been "good" at keeping busy doing things. however, weirdly enough it never seemed that anything ever got done. for instance he'd clean his garage all day long and when i'd go out to visit with him after i'd put the kids to bed it'd still look like a hurricane had hit it. also another for instance is that with a family as large as ours, there is always a daddy-do (otherwise known as a honey-do) list a mile long. he'd always be working on stuff but the list would NEVER shorten!!!
my mr used to stay up until the wee hours of the morning tinkering in his garage. when his addiction got really bad (after months of unemployment) he'd get mad when i'd come out to visit him in the garage at night. at the time i just never really understood it. he'd chat with me for a short time while he was tinkering and then, out of no where, just say, "i'll be in in a little bit." which was my cue to go inside. i'd talk with him about it and he'd say that he just felt like i was pestering him to come inside. after explaining that i didn't care if he was in the garage, i was just trying to spend some time with him, he allowed me out there for longer periods but the truth was that i actually needed some sleep where he didn't (literally, because of the drugs -i found out later). he'd ask me to come out and tell him when it was 11... then 12... then "i'll be in in a few minutes, honey. i'm just cleaning up." and he'd come in at 3 or 4.
both me and my man are sleepers. we're the type that can go to sleep around 9 and (if the kids would allow) get up at 9 the next morning. when he's off of drugs, he's like that with me. we even like naps during the day. when he's on drugs it's a different schedule. he'll stay up, like i said, until 3 or 4 and then jump out of bed with the alarm at 6:45 or 7. it would make sense that after weeks of this, then he would spend [almost] a whole 'nother week sleeping!
my mr. would sit and stare at this computer for ABSOLUTELY no reason for hours. it's not like he was looking at pictures, or reading interesting articles, learning how to fix this or that, or playing those cyber-games. he was not catching up with facebook or blogging... he'd just open up craigslist and browse through ads. for HOURS!
i used to just be used to being stood up. not on occasion, but as the usual. he's say he'd be home at a certain time, but not come home for several (up to 8) hours. we'd set up dates that never happened. he'd plan lots of excursions with me and the kids... ending in disappointment 95% of the time. he got to were he just wouldn't plan ("afraid that it wouldn't go through and we'd all be disappointed in him" -his words). i just started thinking he was afraid of commitment... not so much the case.
he'd agree to plans with our friends and then decide we'd rather not, or he'd get one of those random urges to go run a quick errand*. and then never come back. i became the queen of excuses to our friends.
he was one of those people that always was in the middle of something when you'd call. and he'd "call you right back". never to hear from him again. that was IF he'd answer the phone in the first place.
he had the worst luck! (or worst excuses?) he'd break down, lock the keys in the car, run out of gas, run into someone that needed help/was stranded... being a mechanic, it sucked to be his wife. he'll go out of his way to help others (and this IS TRUE), so i still don't know which excuses were real and which were made up.
he'd lie. whether he needed to or not. he'd lie. to anyone, anywhere, about anything. lies!
...there's some insight into how life used to be. life with a drug addict. how could i have not known, right?! ...yeah...
No comments:
Post a Comment
please, for the sake of our privacy, refrain from using names (ours, yours, or others). thank you.